i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
