if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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