before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The power of my boobs compel you
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
