...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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