So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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