Your face is a jimmy john
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
