My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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