I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
