I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
