I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
