Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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