can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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