Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
