cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
