I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
