I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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