We're facebook friends in real life
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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