he wants to bone in the snuggie
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
