He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
