Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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