Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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