He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
