watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
