i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
