He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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