You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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