i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
