I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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