Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
