I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
