no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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