careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
