I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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