i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
