Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize