Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I had to cum in my sink.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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