There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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