i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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