I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
