one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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