Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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