You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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