that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
