you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
