I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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