I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
