you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
