He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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