My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
