You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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