Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
