so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
