so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
