i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
