dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
