90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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