You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
