He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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