You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
