dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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