90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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