It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
