Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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