What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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