He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
