I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Bring me that man meat
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize