were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
