Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Say something about gay babies.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
