you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
