it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
