i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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