I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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