I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
